A Jewish marriage and an Australian civil marriage are two separate legal acts and they must each be ended in their own way. Many Jewish couples I act for did not realise that until they were already part-way through a civil divorce. The good news is that with the right sequencing the two processes can run together with very little friction. The bad news is that without sequencing they can leave one party — almost always the wife — religiously stuck while civilly free.
What a get actually is
A get is a document of religious divorce written by a sofer (scribe) under the direction of a Beth Din. Halachically, the husband grants the get and the wife receives it. Until that document has been delivered and received, the parties remain married under Jewish law regardless of their civil status. Without it, a woman cannot remarry within Orthodox Jewish law (she is an agunah, a 'chained' woman), and any children of a subsequent relationship are halachically considered mamzerim — a serious religious status.
For these reasons the get matters enormously to many Jewish women and to many observant Jewish men. Even where one party is non-observant, the get often matters to the other, to children, to parents and grandparents, and to the broader community context.
Sequencing the get and the civil divorce
There is no single correct order — it depends on the dynamics of the matter. In a cooperative separation we often coordinate the get to be granted before or simultaneously with the civil divorce, because the civil divorce becomes a strong incentive for both parties to complete the religious step. In a high-conflict matter where the husband may use the get as leverage, we may finalise some or all of the property and parenting arrangements first, using the timing of the civil divorce as a tool to ensure cooperation on the get.
What we will not do is finalise everything and then ask for the get — by which point the other party has lost any reason to cooperate.
The agunah problem — when a husband refuses to give the get
A husband who refuses or delays the get can leave his wife indefinitely chained. Australian civil law cannot directly compel a get because halachically the act must be voluntary — a coerced get may be invalid. However, Australian Family Courts have in some cases taken get refusal into account when assessing future needs in property settlement, and have made costs orders against parties who use the get as leverage. The Melbourne Beth Din has its own internal pressure mechanisms, including in some cases community sanction (siruv). We discuss the available options openly so that the client can decide on a strategy that fits their values.
Working with the Melbourne Beth Din
The actual get is administered by the Beth Din, not by me. My role is to make sure the civil law side runs in step with the religious side: timing the civil divorce application, ensuring property and parenting orders do not undermine the get process, drafting any financial terms in a way the Beth Din will accept, and keeping the client out of avoidable bureaucratic conflict between the two systems.
How I handle a jewish divorce (get) matter
- 1Plain-language explanation of how the two systems interact for your circumstances
- 2Sequencing plan — what happens first, what happens at the same time, what happens last
- 3Coordination with the Melbourne Beth Din (without me acting for them)
- 4Strategy where one party is reluctant or using the get as leverage
Frequently asked questions
How long does the get process take in Melbourne?
Where both parties cooperate, the get itself can be completed in a single Beth Din appointment, with administrative preparation usually taking two to four weeks. Where one party is uncooperative, the timeline depends on Beth Din pressure mechanisms and any leverage available through the civil proceedings.
Can the Melbourne Beth Din force my husband to give a get?
The Beth Din cannot physically compel a get because halachically the act must be voluntary. However, the Beth Din has internal mechanisms — including in some cases siruv (formal community censure) — that can create significant social and religious pressure. Civil law tools, including how property settlement is structured, can also incentivise cooperation.
What if I'm Reform or Progressive — do I still need a get?
Reform and Progressive Judaism handle divorce differently and many Reform clients consider a civil divorce sufficient. If you may later interact with the Orthodox community — for example, if your child wishes to marry someone Orthodox — a get can still be valuable. We discuss whether to obtain one in your specific circumstances.
Does an Australian court recognise the get?
An Australian court does not require a get to grant a civil divorce — the two systems are independent. The Court will, however, take the existence or absence of a get into account where it is relevant to other issues, particularly future needs in property settlement.
Reviewed by Elisa Rothschild BA/LLB — Principal Lawyer, Fogarty Oliver Rothschild. Admitted to legal practice in Victoria. Last reviewed 2026-05-22.
This page is general legal information about jewish divorce (get) in Victoria, Australia. It is not legal advice for your specific situation. For advice on your matter, book a free initial consultation.