School disputes between separated parents — who decides where your child goes to school

In this guide(10 sections)

Few separation disputes feel as raw as a disagreement about your child's school. It's rarely "just" about a building or a uniform — it's about values, about which suburb the children's lives are anchored to, about religion, money, friendships, and the kind of childhood each of you pictured. So when one parent wants the local public school and the other has their heart set on a private or faith-based one, or when a move means changing schools altogether, the argument can get heated fast. I see this often, and I want to reassure you up front: most of these disagreements are resolved calmly, without a courtroom, once parents understand who actually gets to decide and what the law asks them to focus on. This is the plain-English version, with your child's wellbeing kept squarely at the centre.

At a glance — deciding a child's school after separation

The short answer: Choosing or changing a child's school is a "major long-term issue" under the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), so where parents share parental responsibility it should be decided jointly, not by one parent alone. If you can't agree, family dispute resolution comes first; if that fails, a court can decide, focusing on the child's best interests — above all, the child's safety, stability, and the practical reality of their schooling.

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Why schooling is treated differently from everyday decisions

Family law draws a clear line between two kinds of parenting decisions, and understanding that line resolves most school arguments before they start.

Day-to-day decisions are the ordinary calls a parent makes while the child is in their care — what's for dinner, whether they can have a sleepover, how to handle a tricky homework night. The parent the child is with at the time makes these without needing to consult the other.

Major long-term issues are the big, lasting decisions that shape a child's life. The Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) defines these in section 4, and it specifically lists a child's education (both current and future) as one of them — alongside their health, religion and culture, name, and significant changes to living arrangements. Choosing a school, switching schools, deciding between public and private, or moving a child to a faith-based education all fall squarely into this category.

That distinction matters because major long-term issues are meant to be decided differently — jointly, after genuine consultation — wherever parents share responsibility for them. A school is not a "while they're with me" decision. It's one of the most clearly "long-term" decisions there is.

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Parental responsibility — who actually has a say

"Parental responsibility" is the legal term for the duties, powers and responsibilities a parent has in relation to a child. Both parents start with it, and separation does not, by itself, take it away. That's the first thing to settle: being the parent the children live with most of the time does not give you sole authority to pick their school.

Where parents share responsibility for major long-term decisions — which is the usual position unless a court has ordered otherwise — the law expects them to consult each other and make a genuine effort to reach a joint decision about things like schooling. That doesn't mean you must agree on everything, or that one parent can veto the other forever. It means schooling is a conversation you're expected to have together, in good faith, with the child's interests rather than the dispute at the centre.

Sometimes a parenting order or parenting plan already sets out how these decisions are made — for example, that schooling decisions are joint, or that one parent has sole responsibility for education. If you have orders or a plan, read them first: they govern. (If you're not sure whether you need a plan or orders, our guide on parenting plans vs parenting orders walks through the difference.)

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The May 2024 reforms — what changed, and what didn't

The most significant family-law changes in years took effect on 6 May 2024, and they're worth understanding because they're widely misread.

The reforms removed the presumption of "equal shared parental responsibility." Previously the law started from a presumption that parents would share major long-term decision-making. That presumption is gone — the law no longer begins from a fixed position about who decides.

What that does not mean is that one parent can now make unilateral school decisions. Where parents do share parental responsibility (by agreement, or under an order), they're still expected to consult each other and try to decide major long-term issues — including schooling — jointly. The change was about removing a confusing legal starting point, not about handing either parent a free pass on the big decisions. The focus, more clearly than ever, is on what genuinely serves the particular child. (For the full walk-through of the reforms, see our 2026 guide to parenting orders.)

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Public, private, or religious — how parents weigh the choice

School disputes between separated parents tend to cluster around a few recurring tensions, and it helps to name them honestly:

• Public vs private — often really a disagreement about cost. Private-school fees are a long-term financial commitment, and one parent may reasonably ask who's paying, and whether it's sustainable, before agreeing.
• Religious or faith-based schooling — education and religion are both major long-term issues under section 4, so a move to (or away from) a faith-based school touches two of the most sensitive areas the law recognises. These need particularly careful, respectful discussion.
• Changing schools after a move — if one parent relocates, the child's existing school may no longer be practical. Changing schools is itself a major long-term decision, and it interacts with relocation, which is a significant matter in its own right.
• Continuity vs a fresh start — sometimes both schools are "fine," and the real question is whether the child benefits more from staying put with their friends and teachers, or from a change. Stability matters a great deal to children, especially in the months after a separation.

There's no formula that decides these. What the law asks — and what a thoughtful parent asks — is which choice best serves this child, given their friendships, their routine, the family's real finances, and their need for stability while everything else is shifting.

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How courts approach a school dispute — the best-interests test

If you genuinely can't agree and the matter ends up before the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia, the court doesn't ask "which parent is right." It asks one question: what is in the child's best interests? That test, set out in section 60CC of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), is the lens for every parenting decision, schooling included.

In a school dispute, the considerations that tend to carry weight include:

• The child's safety — paramount, and the first consideration where family violence is a factor
• The child's views, given appropriate weight for their age and maturity (a settled 15-year-old's view of their own schooling matters)
• The child's developmental, psychological, emotional and educational needs
• Continuity and stability — friendships, established routines, and minimising disruption
• The practical realities — travel distance, who can do drop-offs and pick-ups, and whether the arrangement is genuinely workable day to day
• Each parent's capacity and willingness to support the child's education and relationship with the other parent

Cost can be relevant too — a private-school plan that one parent simply cannot fund may not be a realistic or stable option for the child. The court is practical: the "best" school on paper is not the best choice if it can't actually be sustained.

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A worked example

Maria and James separated two years ago. Their daughter Ava, now 11, has gone to the same local primary school since prep, where her friendship group and her netball team are. James has since moved across town and remarried, and he wants Ava enrolled at a private school near his new home for high school — partly for the smaller classes, partly because it's a faith-based school that reflects his family's tradition. Maria worries about the fees, the longer commute from her home where Ava lives most of the time, and pulling Ava away from the friends she's leaned on since the separation.

Rather than racing to court, Maria and James booked a family dispute resolution session. With a mediator helping them stay focused on Ava rather than on each other, several things became clear: Ava herself had a strong view (she wanted to stay near her friends but was open to a school with a faith program), the commute from Maria's was the real practical sticking point, and the fees were affordable only if James committed to them in writing. They settled on a different school — closer to Maria's home, with the faith program James valued — and wrote the arrangement, plus who pays the fees, into a parenting plan. No hearing, no winner and loser, and a decision built around the child rather than the dispute. That's how the large majority of these matters genuinely resolve.

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What the research tells us about separated families and schooling

It's easy to assume school disputes inevitably end up in front of a judge. They don't. Research by the Australian Institute of Family Studies (AIFS) has consistently found that the majority of separated parents work out their parenting arrangements without a court deciding for them — through discussion, counselling, and family dispute resolution — with only a minority relying on courts as their main pathway. AIFS research has also long highlighted that stability and continuity in a child's schooling and routines are protective factors that help children adjust after their parents separate. In plain terms: most parents do resolve schooling between themselves, and keeping a child's education as stable as the circumstances allow is generally good for the child. (These are general findings about separated families, not a guarantee about any individual case.)

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Frequently asked questions

Who decides what school a child goes to after separation?

Where separated parents share parental responsibility — which is the usual position unless a court has ordered otherwise — choosing or changing a child's school is a "major long-term issue" under section 4 of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth), so it should be decided jointly after genuine consultation. The parent a child lives with most of the time does not have sole authority to choose the school on their own.

Can one parent change a child's school without the other parent's consent?

Generally no, where the parents share responsibility for major long-term decisions. Schooling (including changing schools) is a major long-term issue, so a unilateral enrolment or transfer without consulting the other parent can breach a parenting order or be challenged in court. If you've moved and the existing school is no longer practical, raise it with the other parent first; if you can't agree, family dispute resolution is the next step before any court application.

Is choosing a school a "major long-term issue" under the Family Law Act?

Yes. Section 4 of the Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) expressly includes a child's education, both current and future, in the definition of major long-term issues — alongside health, religion and culture, name, and significant changes to living arrangements. That's why schooling decisions are meant to be made jointly where parents share parental responsibility, rather than by one parent alone.

What happens if separated parents can't agree on a school?

Family dispute resolution (mediation) comes first, and it resolves most of these disagreements. A nationally accredited practitioner helps both parents focus on the child rather than the conflict. If mediation doesn't resolve it, a parent can apply to the Federal Circuit and Family Court of Australia for a parenting order, and the court decides based on the child's best interests under section 60CC — above all, the child's safety and stability.

Did the May 2024 reforms change who decides a child's schooling?

The 6 May 2024 reforms removed the presumption of "equal shared parental responsibility," but they did not give either parent a right to make school decisions alone. Where parents share parental responsibility, major long-term issues like schooling are still expected to be decided jointly after genuine consultation. The reforms sharpened the focus on the child's best interests rather than changing the joint nature of big decisions.

Does the child get a say in which school they attend?

A child's views are one of the considerations a court weighs under section 60CC, given appropriate weight for the child's age and maturity. A settled teenager's clear view about their own schooling can carry real weight, while a young child's preference is considered more cautiously. A child's view is important, but it isn't the only factor — safety, stability, and the practical realities all matter too.

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When you'd like a calm second opinion

A disagreement about your child's school usually isn't really a legal puzzle — it's two parents who both love their child picturing different futures. You don't have to untangle that on your own. The first conversation is free, in confidence, and there's no obligation — we'll talk through what's actually happening for your child and tell you honestly whether a chat, mediation, or a parenting order is the sensible next step.

Reach out via our contact form, or call 03 4328 5084 and speak to Eliana, our assistant, who'll get your matter to Elisa quickly.

This guide is general information about Australian family law, not legal advice, and it doesn't create a lawyer–client relationship. Every family is different — please get advice about your own circumstances before acting.

— Elisa