In this guide(9 sections)
If you've booked a first appointment with a family lawyer — or you're about to — it's completely normal to feel a bit sick about it. Most people who sit across from me for the first time have barely slept, aren't sure what they're allowed to ask, and quietly worry they'll forget half of what matters or say the wrong thing. I want to take that pressure off. You don't have to arrive with a perfect file or a legal argument; you just have to arrive. The job of a good first meeting is to leave you calmer and clearer than you walked in — knowing where you stand and what happens next. This guide walks you through how to get the most out of that first free 30–45 minute conversation, so it does exactly that. (If you're earlier than this and just trying to get your footing, start with the separation checklist instead.)
At a glance — what to bring to your first family-law appointment
| A relationship timeline | Key dates: when you married or moved in, when you separated, children's birthdays |
| Income proof | Recent payslips, last 1–2 tax returns, and any Centrelink statements |
| Bank & loan statements | Recent statements for personal and joint accounts, plus mortgage/loan balances |
| Superannuation | Your most recent super statement (and your ex's, if you have it) |
| A rough list of assets & debts | House, cars, savings, super, businesses — and credit cards, loans, tax debts |
| Any court or legal papers | Existing court orders, intervention orders, financial agreements, or letters from the other side's lawyer |
| Identity documents | Photo ID (required for the file); marriage certificate if you have it |
| Your written questions | A short list — so the nerves don't make you forget |
| A pen and notepad | You won't remember everything; write the key points down |
| The cost of the first chat | At Fogarty Oliver Rothschild: free, confidential, no obligation |
How do I prepare for my first family-law appointment? Bring a short timeline of your relationship (married/moved-in date, separation date, children's ages), proof of income (payslips, tax returns), recent bank and superannuation statements, a rough list of your assets and debts, and any existing court papers. Write down your questions beforehand. You don't need everything — turn up with what you have, and the lawyer fills the gaps.
First, the reassuring part: you don't have to have it all together
I'll say this clearly because people need to hear it: a first appointment is not an exam, and you cannot "fail" it. You don't have to know the law, you don't have to have decided anything, and you don't have to bring a single document if you don't have access to them yet. Plenty of people come to that first meeting still living in the same house as their partner, still unsure whether they're separating at all. That's fine. A good family lawyer expects you to be unsure — being unsure is often the reason you're there.
What you do get from preparing is more value out of a short, free meeting. The more I can see in 45 minutes, the more specific and useful my answers can be. So the lists in this guide aren't homework — they're a way of making the conversation work harder for you. Bring what you can lay your hands on calmly and safely; leave the rest.
What to bring — the practical checklist, explained
Here's what genuinely helps, and why — so you can prioritise if you're short on time.
1. A simple relationship timeline. This is the single most useful thing you can bring, and it costs nothing. Just a few lines: when you married or started living together, when you separated (or roughly when things ended), and the ages or birthdays of any children. Dates drive almost everything in family law — eligibility to divorce, time limits for property settlement, how contributions are weighed — so a clear timeline lets your lawyer spot deadlines and issues straight away.
2. Proof of income. A couple of recent payslips and your last one or two tax returns (yours, and your ex's if you happen to have them). If you receive Centrelink payments, a statement helps too. Income matters for child support, spousal maintenance, and the "future needs" stage of a property settlement.
3. Bank and loan statements. Recent statements for your own accounts and any joint accounts, plus the current balances on the mortgage, car loans and any other debts. You don't need a forensic spreadsheet — a rough current picture is plenty for a first chat.
4. Superannuation. Your most recent super statement, and your ex's if you have it. Super is property in a family-law settlement and can be split — people are often surprised by that, so it's worth surfacing early.
5. A rough list of assets and debts. On one page: what you own (house, cars, savings, super, business interests, shares) and what you owe (mortgage, credit cards, personal loans, ATO debts). Estimates are fine. This becomes the starting "pool" we talk about.
6. Any existing court or legal papers. Court orders, parenting orders, intervention orders, a Binding Financial Agreement, or any letters you've already received from the other party's lawyer. If something has already been filed or sent, your lawyer needs to see it.
7. Photo ID. Law practices are required to verify your identity to open a file, so bring a driver licence or passport. A marriage certificate is handy if you have one, but not essential for a first meeting.
8. Your written questions. More on this next — but a short list, written down, is the thing clients most often thank themselves for later.
A gentle safety note: if there is any family violence in your situation, do not put yourself at risk gathering documents from a shared home or device. Your safety comes first, always — come with nothing if that's the safe choice, and tell your lawyer. There are ways to work around missing documents; there's no working around harm.
What to ask — good questions for your first meeting
You're allowed to ask anything. To get you started, these are the questions that tend to give people the most clarity:
- Where do I actually stand? Given my situation, what does the law say, and what's a realistic range of outcomes?
- What are my options? Can this be resolved by agreement, mediation, or do we need court — and what's the difference in cost and time?
- What are the deadlines I need to know about? Are there any time limits running against me right now?
- What should I do — and not do — this week? Anything I should avoid (joint accounts, signing documents, moving children)?
- How does the money work? Is this fixed-fee or hourly? What will the next stage roughly cost? (Our cost estimator gives you a feel before you even call.)
- Who will handle my matter, and how do I reach you?
- What's the very next step?
There are no silly questions here. If you don't understand an answer, say so and ask me to put it in plain English — that's my job, not a favour.
What the lawyer will ask you — so nothing catches you off guard
It works both ways. To give you accurate guidance, your lawyer will gently ask about:
- The relationship — when it began, when it ended, married or de facto.
- The children — their ages, current living arrangements, and what each parent's involvement looks like now.
- The finances — a broad picture of assets, debts, incomes and superannuation (this is where your rough list earns its keep).
- Safety — whether there's any family violence or anything making you feel unsafe. This isn't prying; it changes the advice and the urgency.
- What you want — your goals and your worries, even the ones you're not sure are "reasonable".
You won't have every answer, and that's expected. "I'm not sure" is a perfectly good response — it tells me what we need to find out.
What to expect on the day
A first consultation is usually a calm, private conversation — not a courtroom and not a hard sell. Here's the shape of it:
- A welcome and a bit of context. I'll explain confidentiality (what you tell me stays between us) and how the meeting will run.
- Your story. You talk; I listen and take notes. This is your time to lay it out in your own words.
- The questions both ways. I'll ask about the timeline, children and finances; you ask your list.
- Plain-English guidance. Where you stand, your realistic options, any deadlines, and what I'd suggest you do and avoid in the near term.
- Next steps and costs. Whether you need a lawyer at all yet, what the pathway looks like, and what it would cost — clearly, with no obligation to proceed.
You can absolutely bring a trusted support person, and you can take notes (please do). If you'd rather meet by phone or video, that's fine too. And you are never committing to anything by showing up — a good first meeting is one you can walk away from feeling informed, even if your next step is simply to think.
Worked example. Maria books a free 45-minute appointment, terrified she'll "say something that wrecks her case". She brings one page: married 2014, separated March 2026, two kids aged 7 and 10; two recent payslips; her latest super statement; and a scribbled list — house (mortgaged), two cars, $18k savings, a credit card. She doesn't have her husband's super details and worries that's a problem. It isn't. In 40 minutes she learns her property-settlement time limit hasn't even started yet (it runs from any future divorce order), that her husband's super is disclosable later and can be split, and that her first move is to update her will — not to rush into court. She leaves with three written next steps and her shoulders finally down. The one page did most of the heavy lifting.
Why this matters more than people expect
Family law is unusually fact-specific — the right move for your neighbour can be the wrong move for you — which is exactly why a tailored first conversation is worth so much more than another hour reading forums. It's also a common moment to need one: the Australian Bureau of Statistics' Marriages and Divorces, Australia, 2024 records 47,216 divorces granted in Australia in 2024, and that figure doesn't count the many de facto separations that never involve a divorce at all. If it feels like a lot of people are quietly going through some version of what you're facing — they are. Walking into that first meeting prepared is simply how you turn a stressful unknown into a clear, manageable plan.
Frequently asked questions
What should I bring to my first meeting with a family lawyer?
Bring a short relationship timeline (married or moved-in date, separation date, children's ages), proof of income such as recent payslips and your last tax return, recent bank and superannuation statements, a rough one-page list of your assets and debts, any existing court or legal papers, and photo ID. Also bring a written list of your questions. You don't need everything — turn up with what you can safely gather, and your lawyer will help fill the gaps.
Is it normal to feel nervous before a first family-law appointment?
Completely normal. Most people arrive anxious, unsure what they're allowed to ask, and worried about saying the wrong thing. A first appointment is not an exam and you cannot fail it. A good lawyer expects you to be uncertain — being unsure is often the very reason you're there — and the meeting should leave you calmer and clearer than when you walked in.
What questions should I ask a family lawyer in the first consultation?
Ask where you stand legally and what realistic outcomes look like; what your options are (agreement, mediation or court) and the cost and time of each; what deadlines are running; what you should do and avoid this week; how fees work and what the next stage will cost; who will handle your matter; and what the immediate next step is. There are no silly questions — ask the lawyer to put any answer into plain English.
What will the family lawyer ask me?
Expect questions about the relationship (when it began and ended, married or de facto), the children (ages and current arrangements), a broad picture of finances (assets, debts, income and superannuation), whether there's any family violence or safety concern, and what your goals and worries are. "I'm not sure" is a perfectly good answer — it simply tells the lawyer what needs to be found out.
How long does a first family-law appointment take, and does it cost anything?
A first consultation typically runs about 30 to 45 minutes. At Fogarty Oliver Rothschild the initial consultation is free, confidential and carries no obligation to proceed. It's a substantive conversation about your situation, your options and indicative costs — not a sales pitch.
What if I can't get hold of my financial documents before the meeting?
That's fine — don't put yourself at risk gathering paperwork, especially if there's any family violence. Come with whatever you have, even if that's nothing. Both parties have formal financial disclosure obligations later in the process, so missing documents can be obtained properly down the track. A first appointment can be useful even with no paperwork at all.
When you're ready, the first conversation is free
You don't have to walk into this prepared like a lawyer — that's my side of the table. In a free, confidential 30–45 minute consultation, you bring what you have and your questions, and I'll give you honest, plain-English guidance on where you stand, what your options are, and what to do next. There's no obligation and no pressure. Book a free first chat →, call 03 4328 5084, or speak with Eliana, our assistant, any time.
This guide is general information about preparing for a family-law consultation in Australia, not legal advice, and it doesn't create a lawyer–client relationship. Every situation is different — for advice on your own circumstances, please speak with a family lawyer.
Prepared by the Fogarty Oliver Rothschild family law team as general information about Australian family law. Family and property law in Melbourne since 2012. Published 2 July 2026.
This guide is general information about Australian family law, not legal advice for your specific situation. For advice on your matter, book a free initial consultation.